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Season 7: Psychic Sneak Preview!By Chevy Impaler Sure, so Joss Whedon and his merry crew have yet to begin production on the next season. But thanks to my astral pipeline to The Powers That Be, I can confidently predict some of the key character development arcs you'll be seeing as the series enters its seventh year. (Sure, last season's prognostications didn't exactly pan out, but my extra-dimensional sources assure me that the writers were this close to sending the Scooby Gang to the moon to battle alien invaders until they thought of that whole "Let's Bring Buffy Back From the Dead" storyline.) Buffy: Having recovered her zeal for life, our heroine will reach the life-changing realization that her grim personality and bleak outlook stem from, well, hanging around graveyards all night. Not that she has a lot of choice, but it's good to understand these things. Meanwhile, Slayer H.Q. will be transferred to the Summers house, whose basement will be refurbished into a crime-fighting lab popularly known as the "Buff-Cave." Xander and Willow: Buffy's sidekicks will move into the Summers house, with Xander earning his room and board by carrying out home repairs every time the place is trashed by invading monsters (which will be quite often). In mid-season, when the house is inadvertently sucked into the Hellmouth as a result of a magical prank gone awry, Willow and Xander use their respective science and carpentry skills to refurbish Casa de Summers into a demon-fighting mobile mansion! Dawn: Now regularly doing ride-alongs with her Slayer sister, Dawn will hit upon an ingenious scheme to cover the "punitive damages" from her previous thieving sprees. At Anya's suggestion, she begins collecting service fees from rescued monster victims, which soon proves to be immensely lucrative. Dawn's combined fighting prowess and financial acumen will attract the attention of a demon prince from one of the more pleasant hell dimensions, who arrives in Sunnydale early in the season to deliver a marriage proposal. Anya: With the insurance payoff from the near-demolition of the Magic Box (fortunately, the policy specifically covered Acts of God), Anya refurbishes the store into a combination magic shop and lounge bar, providing the terrified youth of Sunnydale with a venue where they can both socialize and purchase monster-repelling amulets. Meanwhile, having undergone a change of heart during her turn as a human, Anya will set out to redefine the Justice Demon job description by providing humorously bizarre relationship counseling services. Giles: Will have a much-diminished role this season. Tara: Will have a much-diminished role this season. Spike: After last season's dramatic restoration, the platinum-blond stalker hangs around in Africa for a while to recuperate, taking the opportunity to scope out some online job sites via Botswana's extensive network of all-night Internet cafes. Lo and behold, he spots a want ad from a detective agency in Los Angeles: "Wanted, brooding vampire to lead team of demon-hunting private eyes. Soul preferred." Filling the vacancy created by his old friend's inadvertent Jacques Cousteau homage, Spike hops networks and takes charge of the remnants of the Angel Investigations team, just in time to face the challenge of... Wolfram, Hart, and Wyndham-Price! And if all this doesn't pan out... well, there's always the exciting lunar battle! We hear it'll be really expensive.
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