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Entropy (Ep. 6.18)
"Love the One You're With"
Things fall apart, the center cannot hold; mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.
-Yeats, "The Second Coming"
"Entropy" is an episode about things coming apart. It's about miserable breakups and their painful emotional fallout. It's about how, even if your intentions are good, sometimes you just can't work things out with the one you love.
...none of which you might expect from a show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but if your craving is for full-on soap opera, it doesn't get much more intense than this - love, heartbreak, sex, and revenge...
. . .
A pair of vamps is racing through the cemetery, being chased by... the nerds? That's right - the troika, outfitted with racy little all-terrain vehicles equipped with protruding stakes, is in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, as the Initiative found out, sometimes throwing technology at a problem just isn't enough - their bikes run off the path and collide, and the two vamps escape. Fortunately, the Slayer is there to do things the old fashioned way, and tackles one vamp as he rabbits through the cemetery gates.
The second vamp is yanked off the ground and held there by the scruff of his neck. The camera moves so we can see that he's being detained by Spike, who is crouched atop a high monument. While Buffy deals with Vamp No. 1, Spike continues to hold back Vamp No. 2, asking if he should let the vamp go, or if she would rather have his help. All she has to do is "tell her friends" about them.
Buffy dismisses this petty demand with an I-don't-care 'tude. "You tell them if you want. Go ahead," she says, staking Vamp No. 1, and reminds him that her friends don't even hate her for trying to kill them last episode. "I'm thinking, sleeping with you... they'll deal" she shrugs. If that's the case then, he asks, why doesn't she just go back to sleeping with him again? Staking the released Vamp No. 2, she turns and walks away. "Because I don't love you," she says without turning. "Like hell," he mutters, but looks at the ground, troubled. Neither he nor Buffy sees Warren grab a small disc dropped by the two vamps in the chase.
Sad Music, Amends & Apologies
After the opening credits, we tune in to see Xander hanging around his apartment alone listening to sad music. Missing his woman. Drinking a beer. Sad. He leaves the apartment to go for a long, lonely walk, unaware that he's being observed by a miserable-looking Anya.
Other people are getting on a bit better. Willow greets Tara after her class, and the two talk as they walk. Progress has clearly been made - in a complete reversal of the old status quo, it's Tara who leads the conversation, volunteering the information that the girl Willow saw her kissing outside of class is "just a friend." Willow is anxious to please, laughing at Tara's jokes and coyly downplaying her own jealously. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she dissembles, and makes the low-pressure suggestion that they "get coffee sometime." The two laugh and sigh with relief at the lessening tension between them, illustrated further by their next-day coffee date, in which Willow fills Tara in on the adventures she's missed. Both laugh over her description of the DoubleMeat Palace demon. "Let's put it this way. If I wasn't gay before..." Willow chuckles. (Guess I wasn't the only one to think the staff was making a funny with the whole castrating lesbian image.)
Buffy too is attempting to mend her fences, escorting Dawn around the Sunnydale mall on a shopping expedition. Dawn details what she stole from each store, the tally including items such as earrings, coin purses... and a toothbrush. "As rebellious teenagers go, you're kinda square," Buffy jokes, then adds: "I guess this was a kinda lame idea for a sisters-day-out. I make up for trying to kill you by taking you places you can't go in." As in the previous scene, where Tara asks about Willow's sore neck, the specter of the basement ordeal looms large. Buffy's friends and sister may be hating her "zero much" for her homicidal rampage, but being who she is, Buffy is feeling bad regardless. Dawn seems determined to ease the guilt pangs. "It's my bad. I'm the one that got busted for taking stuff," she offers. Just like Willow and Tara, the rapport between the two sisters is much improved. (And they even look much better than they have in months - Dawn's waved hair is hella cute! And, thank god, Buffy's re-highlighted hers.)
But the tension is not totally gone. Buffy overcompensates some more the next morning by preparing an extensive pancake breakfast with multiple syrups, and suggests more sisterly activities. "I'm gonna be okay with the basement thing. Really," Dawn winces, embarrassed at the fussing. "This isn't guilt," Buffy protests. "I want us to spend time." Dawn counters with the proposal that maybe she could "hang out" with Buffy instead, accompany her on patrol. "And then maybe we can invite some strangers over and ask them to feed you candy," Buffy jokes, then turns serious, reminding her how hard she tries "to keep you away from that stuff." Dawn is disappointed, but accepts the decision.
Nerd Break!
Checking in with the Troika. Jonathan is hard at work with a bubbling chemistry set. Amid beakers filled with colored liquids, he's working with the intricately carved disc they managed to retrieve from the two vampires in the opening scene. Warren hangs over him, making big with the pressure. "I do this wrong and it's gonna surge!" Jonathan protests, muttering quietly "we'll be deader than an ex-girlfriend." Jonathan is clearly having large issues with the whole supervillain model, and looks forward to the point when "each take our share and we call it a day." This attitude doesn't escape the notice of the other two. Frowning, Warren withdraws to confer with Andrew, who claims that Jonathan looks just like he did "before he told his mother on me." Warren says they won't have to worry about trusting him much longer - this latest scheme will get them "everything we ever wanted." The disc is used in a Raiders of the Lost Ark-style ritual that sends a beam of light pinpointing a spot on a Sunnydale map. So somewhere in Sunnydale is something that will bring them riches enough to buy tropical islands? Treasure? (We never did see what happened to the rest of the booty from Spike's Gem of Amara quest.) Or something else? I wonder whatever happened to all the stuff in the Initiative HQ? One imagines that technology would be pretty valuable. Hmm.
Xander Blows It (Again)
Xander returns to his apartment and is brought up short to see Anya. She rises from her seat at the dining room table as he enters, stepping back and nervously wringing her hands. Recovering quickly, Xander begins to stammer out an apology. "I know that there's nothing I can do or say to make up for what I did... I want to make up for it. I want to take away the hurt. I love you. So much." As he talks, Anya's expression registers her conflicting emotions. She wants to believe in him, to hear him out. "I just want to understand what happened," she pleads, and for a moment, things look promising. But then it all begins to go downhill.
Xander is in deep denial about just how badly he has crashed his primary relationship. While most women would argue that leaving your bride at the altar consists of about as final a breakup as you can imagine, Xander has still not fully processed the situation. His opening exclamations about how much he loves her and wants to make it up to her are obviously a prepared speech. "I may have practiced that in the mirror," he apologizes. But when he runs out of script, he begins to stumble. "If only I'd said something sooner," he says, bringing a stricken look to Anya's face. He's willing to admit that he's "an idiot," but isn't prepared to explain further. He's only thought things out as far as Xander Loves Anya. Xander Wants Anya Back. He wants to return to the way things were before "everything got so messed up," not realizing that there is no going back. He promised her a future, a "forever kind of deal," and by walking out on the wedding, he welshed on that deal. Now he has to reassure her, explain his fears, clearly articulate what he really wants, and negotiate some kind of compromise they can both live with... none of which he is ready to do. When she gets insistent - does he want to get married, yes or no? - he doesn't have an answer. Her face crumbles, and she turns her back on him. "Then I wish you were never born," she growls, her face morphing into demon mode. Anya the Vengeance Demon is back.
This scene (and several more this episode) has echoes of Season 3's "Lover's Walk." With Anya, Xander is virtually repeating his history with Cordelia. In both cases, he's left his women in an emotional tailspin, trying their bewildered best to cope with new, shocking developments while his attempts to apologize for his behaviour fall far short of the mark. The scorned Cordelia's wish (ironically directed at Buffy instead of Xander himself) is what first brought Anya into play. Now that Anya is scorned herself, after a brief attempt to hear his side of it (to be fair, more than Cordelia ever did), she too falls back on the familiar and reliable option of hatred.
The curse, however, doesn't work. Anya tries again, with more and more explicit wishes involving gruesome bodily harm. Nothing works. During all this, Xander keeps rambling, trying to find something to relate to in her anger, trying to grovel without actually explaining anything and failing to connect, not realizing that she's past listening to his bleating and full-on trying to curse him. Significantly, he never sees Anya's demon face.
Frustrated, Anya stomps out. She wants her revenge. She turns to her friend Halfrek, and the pair commiserate at the Espresso Pump. Halfrek confirms what I suspected might be true, that she can't take vengeance on her own behalf. She has to find someone to make the wish for her...
When You Wish Upon a (Justice) Demon
Anya then makes the rounds of Xander's friends, encouraging them to talk about him. Don't they hate Xander? They don't. Don't they hate men? They don't. Don't they want to wish for something that will allow her to take hideous revenge, even if they (naively) don't realize that's what she's trying to do? They don't.
These scenes, intercut with each other, vignette-style, are hilarious. Anya tries everything she can think of - she reminds Buffy of all the men who have been "torturing that perky little ticker"; tries to enrage Willow and Tara with the idea that guys are lustful pigs who get off on watching lesbians; and just tries to confuse Dawn in general into repeating something nasty that she's suggested. Nothing works. The puzzled reactions of her intended targets is pretty priceless: Dawn's insistence that she no longer uses the w-i-s-h word; Willow's comment that she and Tara are more about "girl-on-girl action" than man-hating; Buffy's (quickly corrected) flubbed count of the number of relationships she's had. "What kind of lesbians are you?" a frustrated Anya shouts at Willow and Tara. "If you love men so much, go love men!"
With Anya's curse-o-rama throwback to her Vengeance Demon days, the circle finally closes on Season 6's retrograde theme. Every single character has now experienced a some kind of reversion, a revisit of their own immaturities - Willow's return to pre-magic hacker-science girl; Buffy's forary into lightheaded irresponsibility; Spike's aborted attempt to go back to his evil-vampire ways; Tara's shyness and stammering; Dawn's secretiveness and whining; Xander's paranoia and returning Buffy obsession. Now that the issues have been identified, I assume we're going to see what's necessary to get past all this. What do they need to do to finally get over it, to grow up? What if they can't?
Gnome Truths
At Casa de Summers, Anya finally gives up trying to get a wish from her last target, Buffy. "Xander doesn't deserve to suffer for what he did because he's your friend? And I'm not. Right. I get it," she seethes and prepares to stomp off. Buffy corrects her that it's not what she's saying at all. "What he did was wrong. He knows that," she says. Anya's frustration comes out in tears. "It hurts. He hurt me so much," she sobs. Moved by her pain, Buffy almost lets an "I wish" slip, but is interrupted by Xander's sudden arrival. Thwarted, Anya glares at him. "Congratulations. They all still love you. Even after what you did to me," she snaps, flouncing off. Xander attempts to follow but Buffy holds him back, telling him he should let her cool down. "So I'm just supposed to what? Walk away? That shouldn't be too hard. It's what I'm good at, isn't it?" He takes out his anger instead upon an innocent-looking garden gnome statue in the front yard.
Buffy puzzles at the broken gnome. "Did Willow put that there while I was dead?" she frowns. "Cause if she did, I would have crawled out of my grave sooner." But the gnome is a more recent installation, and a closer inspection reveals its purpose - a hidden camera. "Looks like someone's been keeping an eye on all your ins and outs," Xander quips, and makes a quick guess at the culprit. "Who's obsessed with Buffy? Who likes to hang out here in the yard and keep an eye on her? Who's the guy in love with you and not getting any?" Well, three out of four anyway.
The Vampire Lectured
Buffy takes the camera to Spike's crypt to confront him about it, mentioning that the theory that he's to blame originated from Xander. Spike snarks that "the great Xander" has always "had it in" for him, but then realizes that's not the only reason she's there. "You believe him, don't you? You think I could do that?" he asks her, incredulous. She reminds him that, after all, he does lie, steal, manipulate, etc. "I don't hurt you," he says gruffly, clearly stung by her accusation.
This conversation confirms what's been clear for some time now - Spike really doesn't want to hurt Buffy, either physically or emotionally. "I've tried to make it clear to you... Something's happened to me... it's real," he tells her, repeating his words from "Crush." His idea of what does or doesn't constitute "hurt" is up for debate - you could say that he hurt her badly with the demon-egg fiasco, if you believe that she actually felt more disappointed in him than her casual "that's just you" dismissal would imply - but at this point it's fair to say that he would not intentionally set out to cause her pain.
The same thing could also be said of Buffy herself re: Spike. In her way, she is actually trying to be nice to him. She asks him politely if he's responsible for the camera when once she would have marched in and used her fists. She seems to accept his explanation... but then, in the interests of reminding him of their "it's over" status, she undercuts his feelings in the next breath, even as she acknowledges that they may indeed be real. "For you," she murmurs. Turning to go, she restates the decision she made in "As You Were" in a sincere, if condescending, speech that, like Xander's, comes off as rehearsed. "I know that's not what you want to hear. And I'm sorry. I really am. But you have to move on. You have to get over..." He growls at her to get out before she can finish, and she quietly complies.
In this scene, as at the wedding, Buffy is trying her best. Uncomfortable picturing herself as a heartless bitch who used a man and threw him away, she would like to handle their breakup gracefully. But, also like Xander, Buffy has little experience in these matters. She's never been the one to walk away before, and is unsurprisingly no better at it than any of the men who abandoned her. Just as Angel was incapable of understanding the damage he did to her psyche by leaving her for her own good, Buffy is unable to see that for Spike, her calm detachment and underwhelming speechifying are the deepest cuts yet. He would obviously rather be insulted or hit in the face than have to listen to impersonal platitudes about how he has to "move on." Her quiet resolve hurts him far more than a beating ever could. No wonder he then goes to the Magic Box to look for a "numbing spell."
Demonic Bonding
For Anya, Spike's sudden appearance at the shop is a golden opportunity. "He hates Xander!" she bubbles to Halfrek, then puzzles over how she can get him to make the wish for her because as Anyanka, she only ever granted wishes to women. Halfrek calmly explains, "I know you've got this whole female-power, take-back-the-night thing... but I've been telling you for decades men need a little vengeance now and then too." While Anya considers, Halfrek smiles and fluffs out to leave her to it. (Oddly, even though Halfrek is in human face for this scene, there's no flicker of recognition between her and Spike, as there was in "Older and Far Away." Maybe she isn't Cecily after all? Curious.)
Smiling brightly, Anya rummages under the counter for the "numbing spell" Spike asked for, coming up instead with a bottle of Jack Daniels. The two settle in to trade liquor shots, Anya trying her best to nudge the conversation toward her goal of getting a wish. Unfortunately, although Spike is even more sympathetic than she expected, the combination of alcohol and heartbreak sees him veering into the rambling self-pity zone, just as in "Lover's Walk," when he was miserable about his jilting by Drusilla. "...and then this girl says, 'real for you,'" he rants. Anya sighs, and tries to steer the subject back to Xander. "He made a fool of me and nobody cares enough to do anything," she proclaims. "I care," he tells her. "What he did to you? I've never stooped that low. And I'm an evil, soulless thing... according to some people," he mumbles drunkenly.
But as the night wears on, vengeance is forgotten. Instead, the pair begin to bond over their respective love problems, reaffiriming their connection as two demons surrounded by mortals, just as they did in Season 4's "Where the Wild Things Are." "I didn't ask to be human," Anya tells him: "To tell the truth, I just wanted to use him and lose him." He nods in agreement. "Me too. The using part. I just wanted to know what I was missing. Move on," he claims. Anya goes on, clearly continuing to speak for the both of them: "Next thing I know, I'm changing to please him. I care if he cares," she says. They get drunker. "I saved the Scoobies how many times? And I can't stand the lot of you," Spike grumbles. "Me either! I hate us. Everybody's so 'nice,'" Anya complains. They smile at each other, feeling the connection.
Lonely Hearts at the Magic Box
They polish the bottle off, down to the last shot. Drunk and relieved to have gotten so much off her chest, Anya looks at him gratefully, and thanks him for his understanding. She confesses that she'd been "all hell bent and mad, wanting his head," but... her eyes then fill with tears as she confides her worst fear: "What if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me? I mean, the way I wanted..." Spike can't help but respond to her pain, shushing her quietly, reaching out and cupping her cheek in his hand. "He'd have to be more than just the git than he is, Anya. He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you," he tells her, voice gentle and soothing.
Anya's fears and Spike's fears really are the same. For a long time, Spike has been clinging to the notion that despite her denials, Buffy really does feel something for him. The very volatility of their relationship supported this theory - as long as she was throwing some kind of emotion at him, even hatred or abuse, it was easy to believe that she cared, but was fronting to save face; "repressed," just as he described the Scoobies to Anya. But Buffy's recent behaviour has been at odds with his theory - her I-don't-care posture a little too convincing. Likewise, Anya simply can't understand how Xander could ask her to marry him, could profess his love for her again and again, and yet walk away from her and not even be able to explain why. Both Spike and Anya are now being forced to consider the terrifying possibility that they've spent years wandering around with love goggles on, blind to reality, letting themselves believe something that isn't true, was never true.
Too much alchohol, two sad people... the predictable happens. They turn to each other. "Wait... what are we doing?" Anya whispers, their lips brushing on the verge of a kiss. "Moving on," he tells her huskily as they fall into each other's arms, sweeping the research table clear, clutching at each other in desperate passion. "You know I'm only doing this because I'm lonely and drunk and you smell good," Anya confides. Spike smiles, and compliments her on being "forthright." Neither has any illusions - this is comfort sex; two lonely people trying to give each other what they can to dull the pain. Ultimately, though, it doesn't help. The event is over quickly and they readjust their clothes, neither much consoled by their sordid little tumble. The sad smiles and regretful nods that pass between them say everything. They're not ready to move on. They'd still rather be with their respective True Loves. (For some reason, I'm reminded of the Bad Kissing Chemistry between Wesley and Cordelia.) It's a bittersweet, miserable, true moment. And unfortunately, not a private one.
Webcam Amateur Hour
At the Summers homestead, Willow has been pecking away at her laptop, trying to find out where the camera signal from the garden gnome is coming from. She quickly discovers there are more cameras - the DoubleMeat Palace, the hallways at school, Xander's construction site... and the Magic Box. (Incidentally, the same camera we actually saw in play in "Life Serial.") They tune into the Magic Box camera just in time to get a front-row seat for tabletop sex. Willow, Xander, and Buffy all stare at the screen in shock. Even Dawn gets a look before Willow thinks to cover her eyes. In another location, the viewing audience also includes the nerds, who were alerted to Willow's hacking into their systems by an alarm. "He is so cool," Andrew murmurs, quickly adding "And the girl is hot too."
Buffy watches for a long moment, stone-faced. "That's enough," she whispers, and disappears into the kitchen. Willow and Dawn exchange knowing looks, and Dawn follows her sister into the backyard. "So... this is the stuff you were protecting me from. You and Spike," Dawn says simply. Buffy nods, and informs her that "it's over," and apologizes for her secrecy with "I didn't even want to admit it to myself." Further sister-bonding is interrupted by Willow's sudden appearance on the back porch with the news that Xander has disappeared... with an axe.
Scooby Deathmatch: Xander Vs. Spike
Spike exits the Magic Box just in time to almost receive said axe in the face. Interestingly, after a first, reflexive duck, he offers no further resistance, letting Xander slam him against a pillar and generally smack him around. "You just gonna sit there? Do nothing? That the kind of man you are?" Xander rages, tears in his eyes. Spike mumbles "Not going to fight you. Chip," as if the chip explains why he couldn't pull away or run. "Too bad," Xander snarls, and pulls a stake from his coat and prepares to strike.
Anya bursts from the Magic Box to intervene just about the same time as Buffy comes tearing down the street at a dead run to push Xander away. The four of them form a tense, painful tableau. Xander is furious and heartbroken, and takes it out on Anya. "Don't try to deny it!" he shouts at her, his voice shaking with anger. Anya tries to excuse herself, pleading for Xander to understand. "It was just a thing... I felt bad, he was just there," she explains in a trembling voice. "Oh. You had to do it. Because he was there. Like Mt. Everest!" Xander snaps back, and continues to rant in a how-could-you vein. "Where you do get off judging me?" she shouts back "You left me, Xander! At the altar! I don't owe you anything!" Buffy adds her part to the proceedings by leveling an accusatory glare at Spike. "Didn't take long, did it?" she observes. For his part, Spike remains draped against the pillar, head down, silent.
Xander ups the volume of his tirade. "This is your solution to our problems? I hurt you so you get me back? Very mature." Anya hurls a sharp observation in return: "No, the mature solution is to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes so no one will notice you're just a scared, insecure little boy!" Ouch. Cut to the quick, Xander strikes back: "You let that evil, soulless thing touch you," he says, and adds that just looking at her makes him "feel sick." At this point, Spike slowly draws himself up straight and speaks. "Good enough for Buffy," he says quietly. The others freeze, staring at each other. "Buffy?" Anya whispers, eyes wide. Xander looks at Buffy for confirmation, then drops the stake and backs away. "I don't want to know this. I don't want to know any of this," he rasps, and takes off. Buffy shoots Spike a hurt look, turns, and walks away.
Kiss and Make Up
Back at the Summers house, a different kind of confrontation is taking place. Tara is talking to Willow in her bedroom, circling the room, touching things, her eyes lowered and seductive. "Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard," she breathes. "You can't ever put them back the way they were... trust has to be built again, on both sides...it's a long and important process...and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" Willow's look is pure joy, and the two fall into each other's arms in a touching show of sheer love and affection.
That the episode ends with Willow and Tara's reconcilliation emphasizes how similar the dynamic is between all the couples in the show right now - one half deeply confused about what they want, and the other half realizing all too well that they're still hopelessly in love with the person who Done Them Wrong. Tara loves Willow enough to forgive her. Anya realizes she no longer wants revenge; she even stops Spike from making a wish after the fateful four-way confrontation. Spike loves Buffy enough to feel such guilt over betraying her with Anya that a staking by Xander Harris seems like a good option. Of all of these, only Willow and Tara have realized that they can just choose to cut through the Gordian Knot and skip to the kissing.
Love's Rocky Road (Not the Ice Cream)
The misery of love is well explored here. Though the reactions on display are hardly pretty, they're painfully real. What's not done and said is as important as what is. Buffy, significantly, doesn't deny the reality of her affair, even though Xander would have eagerly believed her had she claimed Spike was lying. After Xander's harsh words to Anya, she's not willing to pretend anymore, and puts her confident bluster that her friends will love her regardless to the test.
Likewise, although Spike and Anya are obviously compatible in much the same way as he and Drusilla were ("You're the only one of them I wouldn't bite if I had the chance... I have nothing but respect for a woman who's forthright"), it's no longer enough. He desperately wanted Buffy to be the one to tell her friends about them, to admit to being his - in the hours he spent confiding in Anya he never let his lover's name slip once; Anya was as stunned as the rest when he finally let the secret out. And last, who can blame him for finally doing so? Denied by everyone around him, depressed the point of suicide, the revelation was the one last shred of defiance he could muster. He may be an "evil, soulless thing," but dammit, for a little while anyway, that was good enough for Buffy.
Finally, there are some fascinating hints about the real reasons for the mutual hatred between Xander and Spike. In light of recent events especially, their history is not really that of enemies, but more of a rivalry between two losers - certainly Xander hates the vampire who tried to kill them all, but he also put newly chipped Spike up in his basement in Season 4; "almost felt sorry for the guy" after his extensive torture session in "Intervention," and confessed his woman troubles to him in "Triangle." Multiple times, they've operated efficiently as comrades-in-arms. In some ways, the two almost come off as competing brothers, each desperately jealous of something the other has - Spike craves the unconditional acceptance that Xander enjoys; Xander covets Spike's strength and confidence. As a sleazy, harmless, washed-up villain who has to hire people to build sexbots for him, Spike is someone Xander can feel superior to, but he's also a threat to his own position within the Scooby ranks, moreso now that he's added sexual predator to his resume. It's notable that Xander's Spike-hatred only made a serious bid for attention upon Buffy's return, hinting that even then he saw the vampire as a sort of competition. For Spike's part, his passive acceptance of Xander's murderous fury is consistent with their previous dust-ups - for some reason, Spike seems oddly concerned with Xander's opinion of him; his reluctance to fight back suggests a certain amount of respect for his fellow loser. I keep wondering if this relationship isn't the one that's going to turn out to be really important.
And finally, how will Willow react to the knowledge that she was literally, the last person to know about any of this?
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