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Tabula Rasa (Ep. 6.8)"The Other Side of the Mirror" A more standard Buffy opening scene you could not get - Buffy is walking through one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. Surprise - there's Spike. "We need to talk," says he, all serious. "We kissed, Buffy." No kidding. The previous musical ep did indeed, as promised, "close on a kiss," a sweetly appropriate homage to classic musical romances. The difference here is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not a romance series, no matter how much people would like to think it is. In fact, it's much closer in construction to a classic tragedy, the life and times of Buffy, Warrior of the People and her not-so-merry band of helpers. As we saw last season's "The Gift," that kind of destiny doesn't always come with happy endings.
With that in mind, Buffy is now facing the music about the Big Kiss she just recently visited on a vampire who says he loves her, who she says she hates. For this meeting - which she surely must have known was coming - Buffy has dressed in a pure white sweater set of arctic weight (an unseasonally frosty So-Cal night?). She is cool and dismissive, telling him in no uncertain terms that she has no intention of kissing him, or touching him, ever again. Lovesick fellow that he is these days, Spike trails behind her, protesting that he knows "what kind of a girl you really are." Buffy shows no sign that this argument is cutting any ice with her ...then she suddenly shoves him to the ground and straddles him. As it turns out, she's just saving him from an imminent staking by a Street Shark... er, loan shark. Uh-huh. So there's this frankly hilarous demon with a shark's head. Kitten-poker-playing Spike owes a few felines from his last game or so and Sharky and pals want to collect. Buffy, all business, steps in and hands them their asses. Spike promptly pulls a vanishing act. Sharky then retreats with the requisite I'll-Be-Back. From this fairly formula bit of business, we now have the theme for the rest of the episode - surface appearances, or the hazards of judging a book by its cover. Of course, eventually it all comes down to relationships - in Buffy, everything does. Spike and Buffy's relationship has changed drastically over time, from mortal enemies, to grudging allies, to comrades in arms, and now the most radical change yet - possible lovers. But given the way she dismisses Spike in this scene, no matter how much Buffy may "want the fire back," she is still grimly holding onto her belief system, and thus limiting how far their relationship can realistically go. She insists on seeing Spike in the same cartoony terms as the loan shark demon, even though things have long since become far more complex. To her mind, one or two heroic gestures do not a "good" vampire make. Vampires = no souls = no feelings. "You don't even know what feelings are!" she'd thrown in his face, in "Crush." Pre-death Buffy couldn't face even the idea of something happening between them. The numb, resurrected Buffy has found that she can indeed stomach a little vampire face-sucking if it will make her feel better, feel something. But Spike is still "beneath her." By indulging in a kissing tryst with her former enemy, she is, in essence, slumming... with her "willing slave." "If I were to stop saving his life, it would simple things up so much," Buffy grumbles to herself as she walks off. Indeed it would. Why doesn't she? Despite Buffy's denials, their relationship is clearly on the verge something new. Conversely, another of Buffy's relationships is about to come to an abrupt end. Giles informs her that he is leaving. As Buffy stares at him with a look that's a mixture of disbelief and sick horror, he basically restates the contents of his song from the previous episode. She relies on him too much; he fears she will never learn to stand alone without him if he stays, that he will always step in because he doesn't want to see her suffer. "You have to be strong," he tells her. "The temptation to give up has got to be overwhelming..." Near tears, Buffy cuts him off. "So I won't! No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong." Her protests are useless - he's made up his mind. Buffy's Watcher, her father figure, is leaving, like nearly every other important male in her life. "I've thought this over... I think it's the right thing," he tells her. Buffy's misery turns to anger. "You're wrong," she grates, and turns on her heel and marches stiffly from the room, tense with fury. Buffy's gang gathers miserably at Xander's place, understandably upset by the new knowledge that their resurrection has yanked Buffy from heaven. "We were so selfish," Willow realizes. Xander confirms that they still are - " I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead," he says. "So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad." None of them are really ready to come to terms with what they've done to their friend. Willow, brightening, offers to "fix it" by casting a spell to make Buffy forget about heaven. Tara, perhaps the only member of the Scooby club to have fully grasped the issue, violently objects. "God, what is wrong with you?" she shouts. As the other Scoobies vanish from the room Tara reveals the she knows Willow has been tampering with her memory. "You don't get to decide what's better for us," she tells her lover. "We're in a relationship. We're supposed to decide together." She accuses Willow of using magic for selfish reasons, to make things easy for herself. Tara's strength here is a far cry from the shy, insecure Tara from Season 4, and even from her own concept of herself from just the previous episode, when she sang "I'm Under Your Spell." Tara no longer trusts Willow. What's more, she now has enough self-esteem to stand up to her (you go, girl!) and give Willow an ultimatum - no magic for a week, or else. Shaken enough by the idea that her lover might actually bail on her, Willow agrees, but breaks the promise almost as quickly as she makes it. Grabbing a minute to herself before setting out for the magic shop to meet the gang, she cooks up some herbs and crystal in the Summers fireplace to remove Buffy's heaven memories and Tara's memories of this latest argument to boot. But something goes wrong, and her time-delayed spell wipes the memories of the entire group gathered at the Magic Box, including Willow herself. Waking from their enchanted slumber, Buffy and Co. blink frowsily at each other, trying to glean clues about themselves. Examination of wallets and jewelry lead to educated guesses about their identities, the sticking points being, of course, their relationships. For every right guess - Dawn and Buffy figure out that they're sisters, Willow and Tara reason that since they're both students they might be "study buddies" - there are more wrong ones. Willow, since she's wearing Xander's jacket, thinks he might be her boyfriend. Giles and Anya, as co-owners of the Magic Box, are taken to be a couple. Spike, by virtue of his accent and dorky hide-from-the-loan-sharks tweed suit "disguise" (the same one he wore in "Restless"), is assumed to be Giles' son. New names are manufactured for those that don't have ID - Spike is identified as "Randy," thanks to a tag in his suit and Buffy decides to call herself "Joan" (which Dawn promptly deems "blah," a cute contrast to the inherent silliness of Buffy's actual name). No time to get used to their new identities, though - the loan shark's vamp gang attacks the shop, and the entire group scrambles shrieking for cover. Buffy soon discovers why she "seems to be the leader" as she quickly dusts a vamp. "Cool..." she burbles. "I have, like... superpowers." "Joan" and "Randy" try to lead the vamps away, while Xander, Willow, Tara, and Dawn make a dive for the sewers via a tunnel in the basement. Giles and Anya stay at the Magic Box to try to find a spell that will help somehow, with disastrous bunny- and skeleton-warrior-summoning results. While these scenes are played strictly for laughs (the banter between Giles and Spike is particularly choice), the tensions of the group's real relationships, just barely beneath the surface, keep intruding. How much of these no-memory renditions reflect their real selves? Like last episode's singing and dancing, are we hearing inner truths come out? It's neat to see which aspects of each character are emphasized by the memory loss - Giles displays a natural skepticism ("magic is all balderdash and chichanery!") as well as a streak of vanity (his obvious pleasure at the idea of having a much younger fiancee). Xander shows more than a little wild-eyed paranoia ("who are you freaks?") as well as inherent bravery. Dawn is timid and just plain scared. Anya is logical ("I don't see any booze," she points out when it's suggested they've had a drunken blackout) yet mulish and easily flustered. Willow and Tara are still attracted to each other, but are more equals in temperment than they are in their "real" lives - even when being chased by monsters, this rendition of Tara does not stutter. "Joan" naturally falls into the role of leader and protector, clearly having fun with her newfound powers. But even in this carefree state, complications set in. Initially protective of "Randy," "Joan" reacts with shock and then hostility once she realizes he is a vampire - her first response is to run, then knock him down and hold him at bay with a stake. (But she doesn't simply kill him - as in her "real" life, she seems to instinctively recognize that he belongs with her group.) Interestingly, without his memory, Spike is not even aware that he IS a vampire until Buffy points it out to him. "I kill your kind," she says. "And I bite yours," he replies, feeling his vamp face. "So how come I don't wanna bite you?" He puzzles for a moment and then decides that the reason must be that he's "a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. A vampire with a soul." Buffy's eye-rolling "god, how lame is that!" response can't help but be read as an eyebrow-raising comment on Angel - the actual vampire with a soul they both know. (This really is starting to seem like something of a running gag.) Natural snarkniess aside ("God, how I must hate you," "Randy" tells Giles, his assumed father), without memory, Spike seems to have no real bloodlust, no ingrained drive to maim and kill. If anything, his default setting seems to be "talk 'em to death." "I'm a hero, really," he rambles to "Joan." "To be cast such an ugly lot in life and then to rise above it. To seek out better, nobler things - inspirational, isn't it? And the two of us - natural enemies, thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness. Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me." Buffy is clearly bored during this recitation, but apparently not enough to do anything about it. Likewise, "engaged" Giles and Anya squabble bitterly over Anya's botched spellcasting and Giles' sniping about it. "I never know what you're saying!" Anya yells, perched on a table to avoid the herd of rabbits she'd inadvertently summoned. Giles retaliates by telling her about the one-way ticket "out of this engagement" that he found in his pocket; she hurls her ring at him in tears. Finally, Giles locates the correct spell to get rid of her conjured creatures and the pair apologize to each other with loving affection and indulge in a longing make-up kiss. Woo. Hot stuff. Meanwhile, in the tunnels, Willow and Tara stare deeply into each other's eyes, sensing the attraction between them, growing ever closer as they hide in terror from the marauding vamps. "I think I'm... kinda gay," Willow confesses shyly to Dawn, her eyes on Tara, echoing her own observation about the vampire version of herself from Season 3's "Dopplegangland." At this point, at least when it comes to Tara, this aspect of Willow seems to be pretty well ingrained... although her first guess was that she was Xander's girlfriend. Interesting. Even with vampires on the prowl, the whole thing is so funny and sweet and sad... and unbearably painful because you know this strangely upbeat alternate world can't last. And it doesn't. The spell ends by accident. Xander steps on the crystal, fallen from Willow's pocket, and everyone's memories return in a rush. A look of utter betrayal passes from Tara to Willow as they halt just on the verge of a kiss - there's no doubt that their relationship is broken beyond fixing. Xander gives a nervous laugh. Giles and Anya stop mid-smooch and quickly retreat to opposite corners of the store to busily clean with whisk brooms. Buffy's energy immediately dims like an dying campfire - she stops fighting and stares into space while a vampire decks her, then lies motionless on the ground as he kicks her repeatedly in the stomach. Alarmed on her behalf, Spike agressively dusts the remaining vamps, tells off the loan shark, and offers her a helping hand. She pointedly ignores him, opting instead to limp away alone. The misery continues. Giles leaves on a jet plane; alone and miserable though crammed tightly into crowded coach class. A miserable Tara packs while a tearful Willow sits alone in the bathroom. A despondent Buffy sits by herself at the Bronze listening to a bittersweet song (is there any other kind at this club?) and coldly turns her back to Spike's concerned gaze; he lets out a puff of disgust and stalks off somewhere to be miserable alone. A devastated Dawn runs upstairs crying as Tara exits the house with a box of her things. Alone. As the song continues to play, the camera circles around to a dark corner of the Bronze. Under the stairs, Buffy and Spike are kissing. They pull back for a moment, panting, then kiss again. For now, anyway, Buffy's chosen not to be alone.
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